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THE INNER GAME

There are two forces in play in our world at any given time.  The easiest to see is how you react to particular situations. The more difficult is how you feel about these particular situations.  The first is called the outer game because you are reacting to a particular stimuli and the latter is referred to as the inner game because you are reacting to feelings which can’t be quantified.

Which of these two forces are the most important?   This is an extremely difficult question.  The outer game of life is how you react to a particular situation based on your experience, intellect, and knowledge of the circumstance.   The inner game of life is much more profound because it deals with your feelings of self-esteem, self-worth and self appreciation.

The outer game of life is dependent upon you reacting to another person who is in a position of authority.  You are tasked to do certain things and basically just go ahead and do it because you are told to do so.  You may not like it but you’ll do it because the authoritarian figure has dictated so.  Examples of this are being given an order by a superior in a military role or your boss telling you to do something and you just go ahead and do it.  They may require an intellectual process, but your ability to question it is not there.

The inner game deals with how you feel about certain situations. It is based on your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-determination.  These constructs are much different than the outer game because these are the things that drive you to be who you are.

Which one of these of the most important?  In actuality, they both are because one is predicated on the other.   If you are directed by an exogenous force to do something and you feel really bad about it, you may not do it as well as you could or see it through with the same fervor that you would normally. On the other man, if you feel strongly about what is being asked of you, you most likely will do it with more zeal and enthusiasm and probably do a better job.

How is the knowledge of this useful?  It’s real simple, you should find something, whether it be a profession, sport, recreation, or work that appeals to your self-worth, self-esteem and your basic personality.  In doing these things to the best of your ability, you will maximize your efforts both internally and externally.  This will produce maximum results.

Be that person who can make work feel like play.  It takes practice, determination and direction.  The rewards are worth it.

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ARE YOU SERIOUS?

How often have you set by yourself and pondered over a situation and finally said to yourself “are you serious?”   I am sure the answer to that question is more than once.

Our brain works at an amazing speed.  We usually think of things at a rate of approximately 200 words per minute which we call internal dialogue or just plain gibberish.   Sometimes, however, this gibberish has incredible insight attached to it because we let our filters down and we become one with the universe.  In those moments of extreme insight we are able to discern multiplicities of phenomenon.   It is said that songwriters, inventors and other astounding individuals find their best insight when they are not thinking of anything but just letting their mind roam free.

One day, while in one of those crazed states, I started to think of what would happen if I had more money than a new what to do with.  You know, like in the commercial that ends” Yeah, that rich.”   If we take money out of the equation of most things, it becomes easier to think and even easier to plan.  It seems that the more filters we put upon ourselves the more we limit ourselves rather than expand our horizons.

Why not dream like the philosophers of old and get into that great meditative state were all is possible. We seem to develop too many filters or constraints that limit our abilities to expand our horizons.  We are constantly kept in check by our conscious mind, and not allowing our unconscious mind to roam free in the universe.

How come under extreme circumstances people do things that are otherwise unfathomable, like lifting cars to free their children or running hundreds of yards of what would be considered a demolished or a mobile leg.  These acts are without conscious awareness and allow our body the freedom to express itself to the fullest.

What would happen if we thought we could rather than to think of the myriad of things that prevent us from.  What would happen if we he get out of our way and let our brightness shine?  What would happen if we allowed ourselves to think of what was possible, rather than to limit ourselves as to the negativity that surrounds us all the time?

I am serious in saying that if you are serious about growing mentally you need to get out of your way and dream.

WOW Factor

envisiongyoursuccess

Why is it that most people go through their entire life hoping they would change and “puff” change comes.  Why is that?  It is true that the majority of individuals goes through life, day after day doing the same thing in the same way and can’t figure out why they are getting the same results.  By the way that is the definition of insanity.

How can effect change in our lives?  It is through a strong belief that it is possible, coupled with determination, persistence, forgiveness and the icing on the cake is a positive attitude.

You first must take stock of yourself and truly believe that it is possible for you to change.  Most people are too “stuck in their stuff” to even see that they can change.  Once you clear the cob webs from your eyes, you will realize that there are infinite possibilities for you to facilitate…

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WOW Factor

Why is it that most people go through their entire life hoping they would change and “puff” change comes.  Why is that?  It is true that the majority of individuals goes through life, day after day doing the same thing in the same way and can’t figure out why they are getting the same results.  By the way that is the definition of insanity.

How can effect change in our lives?  It is through a strong belief that it is possible, coupled with determination, persistence, forgiveness and the icing on the cake is a positive attitude.

You first must take stock of yourself and truly believe that it is possible for you to change.  Most people are too “stuck in their stuff” to even see that they can change.  Once you clear the cob webs from your eyes, you will realize that there are infinite possibilities for you to facilitate change within yourself.  Then, WRITE THEM DOWN.  The idea of writing these changes down causes a movement in the psyche.  The conscious mind is directive or has choice, where the unconscious mind, basically just does what it’s told.  That’s why if you tell yourself enough times that you are unworthy your unconscious mind will go ahead and try to make you unworthy.  Why would you self sabotage yourself by doing this but, in actuality, most people do.  So the first construct is for you truly believe that you can change.

The next piece of the puzzle is determination.  You must want this change so badly, that you will do what is necessary to accomplish it. This may mean to give up something, or to change a habitual situation or to look at a challenge in a different light or direction.  Something must change and you are determined to do what is necessary to facilitate this alteration.  Now you have drive, now you have purpose, now you have persistence.

It is the persistence, that “put your head do and go” frame of mind that will take you across the finish line of success. Most people give up way to soon and declare this project is a failure.  It is too bad that we do not have a crystal ball to illuminate the finish line.  Persistence, persistence, persistence is necessary because without it you would never have drive to accomplish anything.

The one quality that we all possess for other people and situations is forgiveness.  How come we don’t have that ability to forgive ourselves?  We are human-we make mistakes, why is it so difficult for us to forgive ourselves?  We must love ourselves unconditionally and forgive ourselves for the mistakes we make.  However, the key is not to repeat those mistakes-learn from them and move on.

The final piece of the WOW Factor is a positive attitude.  I don’t care if you just had the worst day imaginable, there must have been one situation, interaction or gift that was positive.  Concentrate on that and repeat it in your head. Our minds go where we direct them, why not look for the good instead of recapitulating the bad.

As Zig Zigler said “If you do that, I will surely see you at the top”.

THE CHAMPION

 

         

There he was, in all his glory, holding the trophy high.   He is the champion, the one to emulate and admire.  He was the best at what he did that day.  The other contestants may have fallen short of the ultimate goal but rest assured they put in a tremendous amount of effort to get into the elite class. 

          In sport, as in life, we fall short of our goals more times than we succeed.  The learning curve must be designed so that these” so-called” negative experiences become useful tools to ultimately reach the outcome.  Yesterday, Phil Mickelson came from five shots down, to capture the British Open.  A month before he had been leading in the US open and for the sixth time came in a crushing second-place.  He used this incredible disappointment as a motivation for winning.  This is the sign of a true champion.

          Not having enough talent to make his high school basketball team, Michael Jordan went on to be the best there ever was at basketball.  In his induction speech at the basketball Hall of Fame he said he said he used that disappointment as motivation. 

          These are examples of individuals who have a burning desire for greatness. Each one of us is hardwired for greatness.  You may not believe it but it’s true. We all have individual talents in which we excel. but, most of us really don’t think that we are worthy.  The greatest challenge that one has in life is to be able to control his or her own thoughts.  To be a true champion, one must first be a champion between our two ears.  We must think like champions, act like champions  and feel like champions in order to change our physiological makeup.  Of course, this is much easier said than done.

          If you try your very best to accomplish an outcome and fall short, you are that champion in the making.  Find out what part of that experience failed to work and find another avenue to explore.  As you learn from each one of these so-called setbacks or roadblocks you will find that the path to your true calling will be revealed.   You must be flexible enough to allow the universe to show you the way. This may sound rather ethereal, but true inspiration comes from letting go and trusting.

          There will always be individuals who will be able to do what you want to accomplish faster and/or better.   This fact really is irrelevant because there may be only one Babe Ruth or Michael Jordan, but remember that there is also a baseball and basketball Hall of Fame.  To be considered one of the best in anything that you do, is to truly be a champion.

 

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ARE YOU GETTING WHAT YOU WANT

Are you truly getting what you want or are you settling for what you need?  That is an interesting sentence because most people will purchase things they want, not necessarily the things that they need.  However, in our thinking process we usually choose necessity first.  A good example of this is someone who wants to take a long vacation but settles for a day at the health spa.  Their thinking is that this little respite from the stress and strain of life will be enough to calm them down.  In actuality, this will cause more consternation then not doing anything at all.  The reason behind this is simple.  When people want something that they know they can’t get (the long vacation), and settle for something less, there unconscious mind beats them up because they really didn’t satisfy the deep-seated need.

          Our brain works very systematically.  If you could assume the physiology of seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling and tasting the outcome you desire, you surely will achieve what you set out to do.  You see, the mind is a goal orientated system, which will always give you exactly what you truly want bad or good.  By assuming the physiology or posture of your goal, you are convincing your unconscious mind that you are actually doing the act or outcome you desire.   In its most rudimentary form this takes on the sentence of “fake it till you make it”.  I highly recommend this technique of placing yourself in every aspect of the outcome you want to achieve.  By doing this you are literally changing the way you see, feel, here, smell and taste your outcome.  This produces a change hormonally within your body, which now takes on the new and improved role. This specific technique I elucidate more succinctly in my book Lessons Learned How To Negotiate The Life You Want To Live.  The entire last chapter is dedicated to the formulation and achievement of goals.

          By using this technique repeatedly, one will attain a deeper ability to visualize.  It is well documented that visualizing the act will help the body perform better.   This is seen by most athletes before they enter this specific arena of competition.  It’s just like the Sgt. who tells his soldiers that if you do the task correctly in practice, you surely will perform when the time comes.       

          Remember, practice, practice, and practice. Have a great week!

TWO SIDES TO EVERY COIN

          I was asked to speak to a group of sixth graders on the topic of developing a positive mental attitude.  I was quite puzzled as to how to proceed with this topic to 11 and 12 year old. I was used to speaking to adults about the subject.

          While driving to the school, a flash of inspiration hit me and I knew exactly how to proceed.   Armed with this flash of inspiration, I found the classroom and entered. In front of me were 25 smiling faces waiting to soak up my brilliance.  I asked the teacher if she had a pitcher and to fill it up halfway with water. I then asked the kids what they saw. It was amazing to hear the response. The large majority of these 11 and 12-year-old stated that the jar was half full.  It is been my experience that when asked that question to adults, inevitably, they would picture the pitcher as being half empty.

          Isn’t it amazing that young adults recognize this concept faster than their older peers. The answer is that the older adults have more garbage or negative behavior and therefore are less likely to think out of choice rather than habit.  It is sobering to think that as we age our choices become less and less and our habits or negative energies purveyed our existence.  In order for the adult population to change this perception we must use persistence and determination.  For it is with these two characteristics that we can maintain a positive outlook.

          The lesson to be learned here is quite profound. As your thoughts go, so goes your life. Keeping your thoughts positive will keep your youthful energy and optimism.  Remember, you are only as good as your current, dominant thought.  If any of you have trained for an athletic event or some project that you will present in front of an audience, the more you practice the more proficient you will become.  It is crazy to think, that if you get out of bed in a bad mood, you are going to have a good day. It really defies the laws of nature.  Upon waking up in the morning, do you think of what’s good about the day or what’s going to go wrong? Each day, is a new day, for you to think positive and imagine that perfect outcome.  It may seem difficult at first but with practice it will become easier and easier. A positive attitude is so contagious that you’ll have the whole world following you.  Keep those vibes positive.